My thoughts and prayers are with you as you deal with the doubt, or the reality, about your loved one’s drug use.  You are doing the right thing to search out information and to become involved because of your love and concern.  Experts agree that close parental involvement is key to working through the heartbreak in order to save a child on drugs.

If you know your child is using, there are resources here you should read.  But it is critical that you also seek professional help NOW!  Seek out a drug counselor and start an aggressive program to confront your child’s problem before it’s too late!

If you’re not sure whether your child is using, don’t be ashamed, because it’s often hard to tell, particularly with designer drugs.  I call these “sneaky drugs” because it’s so much easier for kids to mask their use than it is with alcohol, pot, speed and other drugs.  To learn more about the signs your loved one might be using these drugs, click here. 

Educating yourself about drugs is step one.  This site offers resources here , and links to other informational sites.  The Parent Edition of True Stories of Ecstasy & Ketamine is loaded with information parents need to know. 

The Drug Talk

If you suspect or know your child is using, and just as important, if you want to protect your child from using, you need to have a serious talk about drugs.  If you’ve already had this talk, think about doing it again.

The Voice of the Victims films are designed specifically to help parents face their own doubts and fears, and begin a strong and ongoing dialog with their kids about drugs. 

Here’s my plan for having a successful drug talk.  Parents all over the country have emailed me to tell me it worked.

First, watch the Parents Edition of True Stories of Ecstasy & Ketamine without your child present.  It is specifically designed to answer your questions, encourage and embolden you, and prepare you to sit down with your child.  Even if you suspect child is using drugs other than designer drugs, you should find the information helpful.

Then, watch the Young Adult Edition with your child.  The stories of Sara, Erin, Cathy and Steven are designed to grab their attention and flood them with emotions, so they open up and are more receptive to the information in the chapters that follow.  A lot of kids want to watch the whole movie all the way through; others do better if the viewing is broken into two or more sessions. 

Questions to Get the Talk Started

After the viewing, or viewings, stay with your child and start a conversation with some simple, open questions like,

·        How did the story of Sara, Erin, Cathy or Steven make you feel? 

·        Isn’t it scary to think that the pills can vary so much from one batch to another, or the reaction can be so different, like Cathy’s was? 

·        [For girls] Isn’t it frightening that Garrett was able to do that to Sara?

·        [For boys] Wasn’t it horrible, what Garrett did to Sara?

·        What do you think of drug dealers, now that you know that they sometimes substitute even more dangerous drugs, like PMA, just to make money?

Then push the conversation towards their activities.  It’s sometimes easier to first talk about “friends” who do drugs, then narrow it down to their feelings about using, or their using.  Your goal is to make them realize there’s risk to them, and more important (because kids tend to feel immune from danger), that their behavior can have devastating consequences on you and your family. 

In the end, you want new rules and new commitments.  Let them know you need to check their rooms, do drug screens, and set guidelines for their activities, and be firm.  If they have friends you feel in your heart are a bad influence, force the termination of those relationships. 

And most important, keep anger out of it.  Pray, meditate, take a break – whatever you need to do to keep your urgency, love and concern from being expressed as anger.

 When Nothing Works

Some kids get it, some kids don’t.  So be honest, and if your concerns remain even after the drug talk, don’t hesitate.  Get professional help.  The Blue Pages of your local phone book have listings of social services, and the Yellow Pages have pertinent listings under "addiction" and "psychologists."  Your pastor or priest can help.  And a Google search will turn up many resources on the Web.

And please, remember to take care of yourself, because this is a hard thing you’re going through.  You must build a network of trusted people you can talk to, and you must continue to have faith that situations, no matter how dark they may seem, can and usually do turn around.